Who needs perfection?
by SapphireEmerald
Summary: Some sexual encounters are not as perfect as others, but does that make them any less perfect? ExB, lemony. I do not own Twilight, SM does.


**Who needs perfection?**

_Since like 90% of lemons out there are practically 'perfection' -nothing goes wrong, no matter how inexperienced both partners are- I decided to write something that's far from perfect._

My hips are more round than I'd like them to be, my stomach isn't as flat as I imagine other girls' stomachs are, and my love handles, unhidden by a sweater or loose shirt, show clearly above the edge of my non-matching underwear, but he doesn't seem to care.

His eyes don't look at me any different than they did when I was still fully dressed.

When I was still hiding the flaws.

In fact, he looks like he'd like what little clothes I am still wearing to disappear, and he moves closer to me, bringing his arms around me, pulling me against him, kissing me fully on the lips. I moan when I feel him hard against me. He grunts, thrusting against me lightly, lifting his hands to undo the hooks of my bra.

Well that wouldn't be fair.

Even if he doesn't seem to care that I'm not perfect, I still don't want to end up being the only one naked in the room, while he remains fully dressed.

Fully covered. While I'm not.

I push his arms away softly, and he looks at me confused for a second, before he notices where my hands have gone.

I can barely believe it's me doing it, and as I unbutton his shirt – quite fluently, surprisingly – I'm wondering where this confidence came from.

And then a large scar on his chest catches my attention. Automatically one hand changes course and my fingers ghost over the scar.

"What happened that left such a scar?"

"My sister happened. My easily spooked sister. Trying to cook. With a knife in her hands. But do we really need to get into that right now?"

He thrusts against me to emphasize what he did want to get into, making me moan. "Hell no"

"Good"

With that his lips attack my neck vigorously.

I finally get my mind to remember what I was doing after a while of simply enjoying his actions, and shove his shirt off his shoulders and onto the floor.

Mm. Half-naked Edward. Yum.

Things are starting to even up. Only he is still wearing pants. Pants I can't undo because of how close he holds me to him.

"Edwarrrrd.. Pants. Off. Now."

When he releases me, I stumble but remain upright, watching closely as he unbuttons his pants, undoes his zipper and takes them off.

Somehow I can't force myself to drop my eyes to the part I actually do want to get to know well – very well – as he stands back up. I want to – oh how I want to! – but I can't.

I have never seen 'it' in real life, I have seen pictures of it of course, but never seen one up close and personal. And for some reason thinking that today is likely to become the day I finally get to see one makes me blush.

Something that doesn't escape his attention.

"I love it when you blush" he says, lightly touching one cheek with a finger, which only serves in making me blush more.

He grins.

Not for long though, because as soon as I slide one hand up his chest, his breath catches and the grin disappears.

Now it's my turn to grin.

I never thought I would ever have this effect on a man. I'm loving it.

And from the sound of him when I flick his nipple, he is too.

But then he decides he wants to play too, and tries to undo my bra.

And fails.

He can't seem to find how to get it undone, and it only takes a few seconds for him to start grumbling about it.

And then I'm no longer grinning. I'm laughing. Full-out laughing. In my underwear. In front of a very attractive half-naked man I want to have sex with, that is trying to take off my bra, but failing.

Failing and looking so adorably frustrated I can't not laugh.

He doesn't seem to appreciate that, but I solve that by taking my bra off myself.

And start laughing even harder when I feel his hands on my boobs.

Like really on them. Like he was falling forward and tried to stop his fall by putting his arms out in front of them. Where my boobs happened to be.

"You do know how to damage a man's confidence you know."

He only seems to be half-laughing, but since his hands are still on my boobs, I think his confidence isn't damaged as much as he wants me to believe it is.

"I'm sorry" I say, still laughing.

"Okay, that's it."

Before I fully know what's happening I find myself over Edward's shoulder, no longer laughing but screaming.

"Put me down! Edward! Put me down!"

"As you please"

Only he doesn't put me down, he throws me down. On his bed.

A bed with very soft sheets I might add.

He doesn't leave me with much time to admire that though, as he crawls on top of me fairly quickly. A book may or may not end up falling off his bedside table in the process.

He doesn't look away from me as the book hits the floor, despite the noise it makes.

I like it.

I really, really like it.

And I like it even more when I feel his lips on the side of my neck.

Licking. Sucking. Making me arch my back.

Making me scratch his back. I never would have thought I would ever do that. I always thought that was just something women in porn movies did.

That doesn't mean I dislike it though.

And from the reaction I get, he doesn't seem to dislike it either.

His hands hold me tighter, his lips move lower. To my shoulder, my collarbone, a little lower, and then he stops.

"I don't know how to do this"

Oh thank god. I'm not the only one.

"Well you sure were doing a good job at pretending then"

"Yeah?"

"Hell yeah"

He smiles at me, in that tender way, it almost looks like the way my dad used to look at my mom.

He moves one hand to move a strand of hair away from my eyes.

I move my hands down his back slowly, caressing him as they go. He shivers. I smile. He gets that naughty look I love so much.

"You wouldn't be heading towards my ass would you?"

I bite my lip. "Perhaps?"

"Mhm"

Before I can answer, his lips are on mine.

Demanding.

Receiving.

My hands make it down to his ass and pinch. He groans. I laugh. He puts a stop to that by demanding my lips again and pushing _it_ against me where I want it. With only our underwear standing in the way of direct touch, I may or may not feel myself get more excited.

_This is so much more fun than laughing at him._

I can't deny that I'm getting a bit scared though. I know I can trust him not to hurt me, but I'm all too well aware that I'm very nearly naked with a guy who's in the same state of undress as I am, and things are heating up quickly.

And when his hands move down to the edge of my panties and a finger dips just under, I freeze.

_Am I really ready for this?_

"Are you okay?"

He looks at me with that tender look in his eyes again and I instantly know for sure.

"Yes. I am."

I can't possibly say it with more conviction. No more doubting. This feels right.

He moves against me just a little. _So right_.

When I feel him hesitate to take off my panties, I lower my hands to help him out. He leans back on his knees to make it easier to take them off completely.

They get caught on one of my feet, and when he lifts it to free it, he inadvertedly tickles me, and I can't help but giggle.

"Ohhh, you're ticklish huh?"

He's looking at me like he's turned into an evil mastermind.

Crap.

I can't deny it's turning me on though, thinking about all the ways in which he could have his wicked way with me. Meow.

"Nope!"

With the way he lifts one eyebrow, I know he doesn't believe me even if he doesn't tell me.

I sigh. "Okay. Yes I am."

"Good to know. Now... where were we?"

"I think we were getting naked"

I'm trying to be serious, but I don't think it's working.

"Ah yes. So we were."

"Yup. So.. Off with the underwear!"

I have no idea where this sudden confidence came from, but I love it.

"Aw, you're gonna make me take them off myself?"

"Yup. Strip for me mister!"

He leans down to whisper in my ear. "Only if you promise to strip for me one day. Soon."

Ung.

He stands up next to the bed, smirks and pulls his underwear down just a bit.

Double ung.

I know I'm biting my lip when I feel it start to hurt. Ouch.

And then he bends over and his underwear goes lower. And lower. And lower still.

Only I can't see anything because of his bent state.

Somehow he can't get his feet out of it, and ends up falling with what sounds like a squeak. Thankfully the bedroom doesn't have many pieces of furniture, making it easy for him to fall without hitting anything on his way down.

At first I can only blink, but then the idiocy of the situation gets to me, and I'm laughing. Loudly.

When he sits up, the first thing he does is get his feet freed, before looking up at me where I sit shaking, trying to stop laughing, and pouts.

If the image of what just happened wasn't on constant replay in my head, I'd find him adorable. Even if he is sitting there naked. Finally.

"Oh stop pouting and get up here. Though it looks like you're up already."

Okay, okay, I admit.. I may have looked. And stared for a bit longer than necessary. It's just different to see one in front of me, within touching distance. Live.

I can't laugh anymore.

He sits down on the bed next to me, and I sit up too.

"Can I... touch it?"

"You've never done this before have you?"

He doesn't sound accusing, just curious. How is it he can make all my fears about things like this disappear like they never existed in the first place?

I shake my head.

"Do you know... how?"

I bite my lip and nod.

"I've... read... a lot."

Before he has the chance to respond, I wrap my hand around the part of him that's still saluting me and give it a soft squeeze. When he groans and his eyes closes, I start to move my hand over him, trying whatever seems like a good thing to try in my head. I don't hear him complaining, so I think I must be doing okay.

Yay for me!

And then he comes. Unexpectedly. And my hand is covered. He lies down on the bed and tries to pull me with him, but I tell him to wait so I can get some tissues and clean up.

Right now I'm really happy there's a trash can two feet from the bed. I wipe my hands and his now soft – I'm not sure what to call it – gently, throw the tissues away, and lie down next to him.

He seems to think I'm too far, and pulls me closer, so my head's on his shoulder, his arms are wrapped around me, and I'm basically glued to his side with one arm thrown over him.

I like it.

"Thank you"

I look up at him, at his face.

"Why are you thanking me? I should be thanking you for letting me do that."

He shakes his head and sighs.

"I'm not thanking you for... that... I'm thanking you for allowing me to hold you like this."

"Why?"

"Let's just say some girls only want sex. Nothing more. Wham, bam, thank you m'am."

I frown. Who would not want to be like this with him?

"Never mind. It's... a long story. For another time, okay? When we're not naked together?"

I nod against his shoulder and tighten my arm around him, yawning.

"Sure"

"Good. Now, shall we take a nap?"

Ah, so it's not just me that feels 'the mood' is gone. Damn it. His offer does make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so I have no choice but to agree. "Mhm, sounds good"

Instead of crawling under the sheets, he reaches over to grab the spare blanket I always keep on the chair next to my bed and throws it over the both of us.

"Is this okay?"

"More than okay."

And it is. It's great. Better than I could have ever imagined it to be.

I fall asleep quickly, and only wake up when I feel Edward move.

I grumble when I feel him start to get up.

"Shh, I'll be right back beautiful"

I exhale, but stay floating between sleep and consciousness until I feel him get back under the blanket and wrap himself around me.

"Mmm"

"Sleep, I'll be here when you wake up"

I'm not even sure if I am just imagining him saying that or not, but when I wake up some time later to the feeling of his arm tracing patterns on my side, I'm happy. Happier than I can remember being since I grew up.

"Mmmm"

"Good morning"

"Mhmmmmm"

It feels good being like this, even if I do wish I was wearing clothes. But then I remember that he's wearing as little as I am, and I don't care anymore.

"Are you always this talkative when you wake up?" There's a slight tinge of humor to his voice as he asks me this.

"Mhm"

"I see. And how long would you say this talkative period lasts?"

I shrug, holding back a giggle.

"Hmm.. We'll just have to find a way to change it then, won't we?"

Uh oh. What have I gotten myself into?

And as he starts to tickle me, I know exactly what I've gotten myself into. I knew him knowing about my ticklishness would come bite me in the ass.

"Stopppppp!"

"Ah! She speaks!"

"Yeeeeeessssss! Now Stopppp!"

"Okay"

While his hands stop their tickling, they don't leave my skin, and it's only then that I notice that he is leaning over me and the blanket has dropped so much one of my boobs is showing.

I blush, still looking down. That makes him look down, and I hear his breath catch.

I love his reactions to me.

He moves one hand to touch my nipple, rubbing it gently, only looking up at me when I gasp and wiggle underneath him, trying to get closer.

The intensity in his eyes kind of startles me.

"You didn't get yours before."

Suddenly he's serious. Quite frankly he's starting to make me think he's female with the speed at which his moods change. Not that I'm complaining.

"So?"

"What do you mean 'So?'"

I shrug and look down.

"Bella? Why do I get the feeling it's... normal for you? Not getting yours?"

I don't respond. How do you answer that? _'Why yes Edward, it is. You see, my first and only boyfriend so far always acted like I wasn't supposed to have an orgasm when we were dry-humping each other. Once he came, he complained about having to put on new underwear as soon as possible, and went home.'_

I can't say I miss him in any case. Actually, I was very pleased when he came over and told me 'He'd found someone who actually cared about him enough to take care of his needs'. Poor girl.

"You've never had someone... take care of you... _that_ way? Have you?"

He sounds almost shocked.

If I wasn't wanting to hide under my bed and never come out, I would probably find it adorable. So instead of going 'Aww' I just shake my head.

"Well we'll just have to change that won't we?"

Again with the mood swings, all of a sudden he's flirty again. Meoww.

I sigh. "I guess so."

"You do huh?"

"Mhm"

"Well..."

He doesn't say more, his other hand moves to my other breast and he starts pinching my nipples, swirling a finger around them, trying all kinds of things, watching me to find out what I like best, repeating the movements I respond favorably to.

And then one hand moves lower and it is now his mouth I feel over my nipple.

Warm.

Wet.

Heaven.

And then one of his fingers starts caressing me. Down there.

I was wrong before.

_This_ is heaven.

I moan.

He chuckles.

Before I know it, there's a finger pressing against my entrance.

When he tries to push it in, he stills for a bit, seemingly hesitating.

"Are you.. a virgin Bella?"

I nod "Yes. Well... technically?"

"How can you technically be a virgin?"

"Well... I haven't had sex... But my hymen's gone?"

"You're not sure?"

"Yes I am, it tore when I was like eight. Cycling accident or something, my dad had to call my mom to explain what was happening because I was freaking out."

"Okay?"

"Mhm"

I lift my hand and trail my fingers down over his spine, enjoying the way he got goose bumps.

"Mmmmm... that feels good. But I can make you feel better."

Since I'm entirely relaxed, his finger enters me with more ease, I don't feel pain now, but I'm worried about what will happen when – if – we were to try and have sex later on. If I had issues taking in a single finger, how difficult would it be for something bigger to get in?

Suddenly the hand that was still on my breast abandons it and joins its brother lower, rubbing my clitoris while the other is still moving in and out of me. He's not looking for the elusive G-spot, just moving it in. and out. And in. And out.

It's the rubbing that is making me feel the best though.

I'm enjoying the feeling it gives me.

Warm.

Hot.

My heartbeat is rising.

Fast.

Faster.

And then, it starts to be too much. Too sensitive.

I wiggle away, feeling ashamed.

"What's wrong?"

He sounds worried, worried that he's done something wrong.

I shake my head "It's not you, it just... it was too much. I have... the same issue... alone"

I hide behind my arm as I speak, feeling like I failed him. He was trying. And he was so good at it.

He grabs my arm and moves it above my head, keeping it there. When I turn my head to look away from him, he uses his other hand to turn it back towards him.

I close my eyes before his face comes into view. I'm not sure I can handle it.

"Bella."

I don't move.

"Look at me. Please."

I remain motionless, eyes closed.

"Fine. Are you saying you've never had an orgasm before?"

Tears start to form in my eyes, and one escapes.

His hand moves to cup my cheek, wiping the tear away.

"Oh Bella, don't cry."

More tears appear.

"Please."

He sounds broken.

"Please don't cry over this, I'm sure we can find a way to get you past it."

It only makes me cry more.

"Why do you care so much?"

My voice sounds broken, not the way I wanted to sound.

"Because..." He sighs and takes a deep breath. "Because I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for months."

"W-w-what?"

I'm shocked. Thought somewhere deep inside I find it explains the way he has been looking at me, the way he has been touching me. The way he has been making me feel.

Oh crap.

I'm in the same position.

I mean, I knew I had feelings for him, and I knew I wanted him, but I didn't realize I had fallen in love with him till now.

"You heard me. And if you tell me you think you might someday feel the same, you'll make my day."

He sounds so hopeful.

"No."

"What?"

Crap. Wrong way to start.

I finally open my eyes.

"I mean I don't think I'll feel that way because I already do."

His eyes widen and he looks so cute I can't help but smile.

"I'm in love with you too."


End file.
